An Editorial view on today's society.... Not my normal cup of tea.

I stopped watching the news about 3 years ago. I started to see a trend where now more than ever it was all about black and white. The country itself has lost its dignity in my eyes and I am sure in many of the countries through out the world. The issues as I see it go beyond Michael Brown and Ferguson Missouri. They go beyond every young black man gunned down on the streets whether from violence perpetrated on him or herself, or law enforcement. The issue is at the heart of how we educate, how we parent and how we see the world. We don’t have a race problem in this country we have an entitlement problem. It’s not black youth, Hispanic youth or white youth. It’s the younger generation of this country. The entitled youth being raised to either milk the system for welfare or whine and cry to get their way. I call them the trophy youth. We created a world where every child gets a trophy; ever child is equal regardless of intelligence, athletic ability, common sense and a thousand other traits that realistically put one person ahead of another in life. We taught the younger generation that they could whine and cry and get their way. We have taught children that if they are spoiled rotten children their parents have no recourse because physical punishment isn’t allowed. We have given these kids the world on a silver platter and they have taken it from us. We handed them these attitudes we have create a generation of spoiled entitled brats. Now here is where I made this abundantly clear. This is not a race thing this is a human thing. Yes I will say this as abrasively as possible. Depending on socio-economic status the way the youth handle this entitlement is very clearly different. The end result is exactly the same. We have created adults who now believe it is perfectly acceptable to do whatever the FUCK they want. The evidence of this is both Michael Brown and Darren Wilson. They both did what they wanted because they thought they could. We taught them they could. I used to be a liberal. In fact my teenage self would probably call my 30’s self a sellout. Maybe I am, however my 35 year old self hates paying taxes so that entitled brats can sit on welfare, or that entitled adults can get federally sponsored pay raises as a bribe to keep there mouths shut for executive ordered changes to immigration law. I am not a Democrat anymore and I am not a republican either. I am a concerned citizen who see’s this country for what it is. A complete failure. We are a failure on both sides of the aisle, we are failures across all socio-economic areas we are failures. We have taught are children to hate and fear because we didn’t want to teach them that human beings all human beings deserve care, but not all human beings deserve respect. We earn respect not demand it. We failed our children. We didn’t make them understand that not everyone is equal and life isn’t always fair. We failed because we made them believe that they were equal and that they could be mediocre and they would survive because someone or some entity would be there to make sure they got by. It used to be that the person who worked harder, had the better ideas and had better work ethic got ahead. Now you see people getting a head because they whined louder and no one wanted to say a word. Let me make this clear one more time. Equality is not based on skin color; it’s based on what you can produce in society. If your parents taught you, that you have nothing to offer then that is what you will be a dredge on society you will pull us all down and you will be continued to be singled out. If your parents lifted you up and told you that you were capable of achieving your goals through hard work, morality and ambition then you will become something great. To take this point even further this isn’t about sexuality either. I see the very people in our society complaining that there is still social inequality be the same people who cut down other because they love who they love. We as a country have fucked up priorities. I am saddened and disheartened they we failed to understand and seeing the growing epidemic we created. We failed our children. Now it’s time to make society understand, that this isn’t race issue. This is an issue where we have made all of today’s youth believe that they can just have what they want despite not always having the real goals and fortitude to do so. Stop looking at color and start looking at what’s wrong with our country at the fundamental level.

Maybe I will have stories again...

You may have noticed I have been disturbingly quiet. Well pre marital living in sin bliss will do that (not really). I have been consumed by a reading addiction and a desire not to communicate with people; however I will be going to Vegas soon sooo maybe wild stupidity will ensue!!!

I want to be Chelsea when I grow up

Last week my friend and I went to see Chelsea Handler. I had a vague idea of what she was about but I haven't been a hardcore follower. What I saw was a Hot Mess, but in the most flattering way possible. There is no doubt that she is a mess however she is a confident unapologetic and beautiful mess who goes through life with an awesome outrageous sense of humor. Why would I not aspire to be life her? Let's face it I have the mess part down pat. Now I could just term my mess of a life into a humorous chain of folly I will be all set! So maybe this year in the year of 31 and filthy I can get my shit not so together but just enough to be taken not so seriously!

The Massage- An Erotic Short Story

The Massage

“Seriously Cathy its just a massage.”
“I know but I have never had one before.” I said as I took the gift certificate from Sue. She thought it was a great birthday gift. As much as I appreciated her thought I was worried about getting naked and being touched by a stranger, it just seemed like a violation in some way.
“Trust me its fine and relaxing. You seriously need to relax.”
“You keep saying that.” I lifted my margarita as proof of my efforts.
“Just call Massage Heaven! You can request a female if it makes you more comfortable.” I huffed in response but I gave her my submissive nod indicating I was giving in and the conversation was over.
“Great you will love it. Now finish your drink! We are going dancing!” I slurped the last of the frosty liquid as I inwardly cringed.


“Ugh” I yelled as I covered my head with a pillow blocking out the light. I suddenly remember why I hated going out with Sue. I always felt like I was hit by a large truck the next day. I rolled over trying to escape the light, hoping to settle in for a little more sleep on my only day off. I tossed and turned feeling no relief, finally swinging my feet from the bed and padding into the kitchen for water and coffee. The only sure fire hangover cure. I sat at my table with the paper and a bottle of water waiting for my coffee to brew as I mulled over the conversation with Sue. Maybe she was right it, is just a massage. My mom gets them all the time. Everyone I know gets them. Maybe I am being to uptight. Sean told me when he dumped me I was an uptight prude, but then again Sean was a sycophant weasel so I wasn’t sure his word had any say in my head. Fine I told myself I will make the appointment. I threaded through the contents of my purse until I found the gift card and number Sue had forced on me and made my decision to call.

“Thank you for calling Massage Heaven this is Tiffany how may I help you?”
“Umm, Hello Tiffany I would like to make an appointment for a massage?” I said it so hesitantly wondering if I was actually asking rather than stating.
“Well you’re in luck we had a cancellation for 11am today would you like to come in then?”
“Umm, sure can I have a female masseuse?”
“Of course if that's your preference we always try to accommodate the customer. May I please have your name?”

I finished giving her my information and realized I only had an hour before I had to leave to make the appointment. I hung up and quickly ran to shower and get my coffee before heading out of the house for this so called relaxing massage. So far it felt like nothing but stress.

I arrived at the spa 15 minutes ahead of schedule as told. Tiffany as assumed by her name tag, greeted me with the largest smile that found its way to her eyes, which led me to believe she was truly as perky as she had sounded on the phone.
“Welcome, you must be Cathy!” she handed me a clipboard. “Before you have your massage I just need you to fill out these forms. Just a little medical background and some information so your masseuse will serve you as best they can.” I took the clipboard from her and took a seat mulling of the general health questions and the questionnaire that asked me to pinpoint my stress areas. Hmm I wondered can I just tick all? I finished up the questions and handed it all back to Tiffany.

“Great follow me.” I followed her through the dimly lit hallway to a room that was equal in lighting. Soft sounds of waterfalls and rainforest animals played in the background. She point to the decadently covered massage table.

“Underdress, and then lay down on your stomach with your head in that hole under the sheets. Stacy will be in shortly to start your massage.” she turned to leave giving me her smile again “Enjoy!”

I nervously disrobed until I was fully nude, assuming I would seem all to like my prudish self if I left a stitch of clothing on. After all this was about being relaxed and pamper and everything I am not normally. I got under the sheet and laid quietly waiting for Stacy to join me. I heard a soft knock on the door and I yelled “Its safe!” I heard the door swing open and shut and the sound of footsteps pad softly towards me. The sheet that had been fully covering me was softy folded down until it was tucked into my hips and only covered from my behind down. I heard the sounds of cream being dispensed and hands rubbing together and then I felt the warm wet hands descend on my back. I shuttered softly not realizing how sensitive my body would be to the touch of someone else. I heard myself slowly moan before I even could stop it. I tried to silence my self but Stacy seemed unaffected by it as she slowly worked on my upper back and shoulders. I could feel her take her thumbs and trace away from my spine in just the right pressure that felt both enjoyable, painful and soothing all at the same time. Sue was right this was decadent and wonderful. Yet I still felt tense. I was going to make every effort to enjoy this and let Stacy do her job. She continued to work her way around my back in such a fashion I couldn’t even figure out exactly how she moved how she did. It felt as if there were five hands touching my back instead of two. I melted into the table and felt the comfort and relaxation starting to finally set in as I nearly fell asleep under her amazing finger tips.

She worked her way down my back finally resting at the top of my buttocks slowly circling her fingers over my skin. Suddenly the room felt incredibly hot as I felt all the blood flow to the tip of my swollen nub. This was strange I had never in my life been turned on by a woman but as she continued to touch and manipulate my skin I found that goose bumps were appearing on my skin and uncontrollable moans were escaping my lips. My ass wiggled without any control. It was like my body was suddenly possessed by the need for another release. I could feel Stacy’s hands tense trying to keep her professional demeanor however the more I moaned the more she seemed to lose control as well. I was excited and terrified all at the same time as the hands that had made every effort to stay professional now egregiously rubbed my buttocks with no concern for professional demeanor. The thrill of the touch ruminated through my body as I was now completely writhing in the pleasure of just her mere touch. Slowly the hands moved between my crack and worked there way down as I raised my ass in the air inviting the hands to explore further. I wiggled, signaling a need that was almost uncontrollable as the fingers finally find my swollen nub. She pinched it hard and I all but scream as I here a soft “shhh” realizing if I am loud my release could be cut short, I find the padding of the head rest and dig my teeth in biting hard so not to let out another sound. The hands begin to rub and manipulate my clit as the juices come at a steady pace, I am beyond wet and beg for more by wiggling my ass faster. A finger finds my folds and gentle enters into me finding the little knot that needs to be fucked. A second finger enters me pulsing strong and fast against my spot causing me to shake from intense pleasure. I can feel the blood again flowing to my nub and the intensity becomes strong as her hands bring me to the most intense climax I have ever felt in my life. I bite down hard as I come, feeling my walls pulse and milk her fingers while liquid quickly flows down her hands and my legs. As I melt into the table I feel the strong hands wrap around my hips and turn me over.

I gasp as I look into the most gorgeous blue eyes that don’t belong to a female at all, but instead the most attractive man I have ever seen. He mutters a low and breathy “Disappointed?” I nod no as that's all I am capable of. “Good” he replies as he strips himself of his shirt exposing perfectly sculpted abs that belong on nothing short of a heavenly body. Understanding the name of the spa I shutter as he strips off the rest of his clothing and picks me up and sits me down on his massive erection. He backs me up against the wall as I settle on what seems like 9 inches of solid rock. I whisper in his ear begging for him to fuck me. He nods no and whispers “I am going to relax every bone in your body.” Then he slowly begins to punch while he massages my nipples and captures my mouth in his. Slowly sucking my lips. I feel my juices again start to moisten us both as he continues to slowly fuck me. He moves his hands down to my ass and slowly massages as he continues the slow erotic ride. I find his mouth again and suck his tongue until I feel him lengthen even more inside of me hitting a nerve I never knew existed. He covers my mouth hard knowing I can not control my screams. He grabs the bottom of my ass and I feel the intense shock flowing south as I find my climax at the same time he does, pumping uncontrollably inside me. He gently lifts me off his cock and lays my down on the table and covers me with the the sheet. He massages my temple and then kisses my forehead softly. “Get dressed beautiful I will be waiting outside with a cup of water, and take your time.” I close my eyes and listen as he puts his clothes back on and slowly backs out of the room. I lay there silently thanking Sue for the best massage ever.

I walk out of the room and find the Greek god clothed and smiling holding out a glass of water. I sheepishly grin and ask “Stacy?” he must understand why I asked and nods “Sorry if the name confused you.” I nod with a larger smile on my face and take the cup. As I turn around he whispers. Come back any time and make sure you take my card at the front desk.” I smile and nod and walk to the reception area. Where I greet Tiffany and request a follow up appointment with Stacy for the same time next week. She smiles at me and winks.

Beds, Book Blogging and I just can't sleep...

Well that title pretty much says it all. In theory I should be sleeping soundly as I am finally on a break from the cold snowy East Coast weather. I should be basking in the 80 degree temperatures without a care in the world. This takes me to the first item in the title Beds. I need a new bed back at home. Mr. X and I need to size up as it's become common place for the dog to share. So in comes the bed thing. I want a soft plush experience of sleeping on a cloud while he would rather something a bit more firm. Well firm is what I got here this week folks and guess what I am up at 4:30am instead of sleeping. So I will pass on the firm (the bed here is memory foam I am imagine in firm its like sleeping on a hard box). What do you do when you and your partner don't agree on a bed? I suggested the sleep number but apparently he had not heard good things so back to square one and no comfy bed. Cloud. sleep. Sounds so lovely.


Why I don't book blog...I have been thinking about this a while. I read a book a day. I am fairly articulate. You would think this would be a great combination for a book blogger. Well no. The problem is I read a lot I have no meter for taste. You put it in my hand and I will likely read it from cover to cover. I don't have my filter for taste. This is not to say I don't recognize a piece of crap or an utterly fantastic story; however I don't want to be the person who just regurgitates bunch of crap from the book and gives a mediocre review. I think I would have a problem actually criticizing someones writing talent when I haven't even had to balls to have mine published. Not to mention more often than not I usually find something redeeming about novel and you know what is really disconcerting a reviewer who only gives 4 star reviews. How do I trust their taste?? So I don't review books.

So anyway. Here I am still awake with only a blog to show for it. Considering the last time I actually blogged I would say this may actually have been productive morning...

Is it summer yet??

Where I live we have recently had umm 24 plus inches of snow. It's well oddly confining. It makes life slowly and me even lazier than normal. I am losing all will to work and function. I read (even more than normal) and I fantasize about living in a snowless climate again. I mean something is wrong when you almost have to own a pair of snow shoes just in case you're trapped by a huge snow storm. I am not living in the mid-west I so did not sign up for this.


However this is my life right now. I have a partner is my utter discomfort that would be my beautiful dog, because if I hate the snow well she truly despizes it, and well wouldn't you if you had to go squat in it to go to the bathroom. She like me is anti-shoe. I however don't take that to the extreme and walk barefoot outdoors in the winter. She on the other hand chewed off her boots last year. She suffers not so quietly doing her thing but she is so not happy with this snow. It's actually above her head.

So the two of us are like peas in the proverbial pod as we both curse the day winter was upon us. I read and pretend I live in a nice warm tropical place and she obsessively licks at herself. SO maybe we don't quite deal with it in the same way but whatever. If it aids in this winter depression than so be it.

The snow has slowed down my writing too. It's all but halted my projects and even seems to slow me down on updating my blog. I need to find some outlet to ensure I can climb out of this winter funk. In the past week I have read no less that 15 books. While I normally read about a book a day I don't normally read 2 or 3. I see that that may be excessive. Maybe it has to do with all of my favorite series coming out with the newest releases recently but it's doubtful. Now I have read them all and have nothing new to look forward to for quite some time. I even destroyed my reading in this winter funk. Ah the winter funk...so everyone who has experience with this.... How do I fucking break out of this funkiness???

Christmas, Sex and Snow...

As many of you know Christmas was a couple of days ago and for those of you who don't what are you fucking stupid?? Christmas comes with expectations of shiny new things snow and everything else that tickles your jolly fancy. Right now I am looking out the window at a neighbor doing snow angels on the front lawn. I am sure that makes her happy. Me I am not even sure if I can fit into my god damn snow pants! That is a story for another day.

Anyway. It's been a rough year for a lot of people myself included and this Christmas is at least the light at the end of the tunnel letting me know that there is a new clean slate looming in the future. I am surviving to spite a horrific year full of personal battles, next year I will survive again and hopefully I can makes something of it. I am almost finished with my first erotic novella. I have plans to self publish once it is completely edited. Amazon has made things like that possible. I still have two other books I am working on and a load of things that just spring to mind at any moment. The multiple project thing has always been my downfall but I am working hard to find out how to literally make it work for me.

Ok. on to the snow and sex... We had a blizzard here in the northeast. It was pretty horrendous and there is at least a foot of snow on the ground. Snow is beautiful it is white and fluffy and in a lot of ways looking at it it's sensual and sexy. That being said I have always wanted to have sex in it....wait wait wait I am not crazy I have no intention of ever doing anything that would cause me frostbite in body parts that aren't meant to see the inside of a snow globe. I just wanted to throw that out there though. Why not be part of the winter activities we all look forward to...sledding, snowballs, and sex... Right. Well if anyone figures out how it's possible to do without losing important body parts let me know!!