Where it all went.

Ok so you may have noticed 36 blogs have been deleted. I did this as it was always meant to be an anonymous forum, once Mr. X was in on the party it just seemed like the blogs weren't meant to be read anymore. He has read them and he was none to pleased with me. So out of respect I deleted everything but 3. That doesn't mean I won't revisit old stories or fun anecdotes; however I am likely to discuss with Mr. X before posting.

On to a different note. Today is Thanksgiving and I have a lot to be thankful for. As many of you know this has been a tough year for me. My 30th birthday marked a sequence of events that let to my job loss and subsequent struggles. I am still in a battle in the regards that unfortunately does not seem to be going away either. My former employer is evil. I can't even begin to describe it. They are worse than the absolute worse movie villain. They are set on destroying a person. Can you even imagine a business trying to do that to someone? If their customers only knew what they were capable of! They however haven't been on the winning end of these battles lately which pleasing to me has only made them more enraged and dedicated to their campaign against me. I am thankful for this though. They taught me a valuable lesson, more than one really. Research your potential employer, and go with your first instincts. Even if you are desperate for a job nothing is worse than taking a job and realizing you have just made a colossal mistake. If I had researched them prior to accepting the job I would have seen sites on the Internet which had horrendous stories about them. Also if I went with my initial instinct I would have walked out of that place my first day of training. Something felt wrong from the start. So I am thankful. I am also thankful that I got to meet some awesome people there who I now call friends.

I am thankful for my family. My neurotic dog and Mr. X make me want to be home more and appreciate the fact that I have a job that allows that schedule now.

I am thankful that I have my family around even if it is freezing cold in this stupid state. I am thankful I still have friends in California that I can always go back and visit.

So this Thanksgiving lets all try to look on the bright side. I am sure many of us have had a tough couple of years; however there is always a silver lining, and remember when you hit rock bottom you have no where to go but up!

Mr. X found my blog....killjoy

So I get a text message from Mr. X.... it reads "I found your blog". Oh shit was what I thought. Lucky for me I genuinely like him and he pretty much comes out unscathed; however grrrr. I wanted an anonymous outlet to vent, and yes sometimes venting comes with a rant over your significant other. I am probably doing it in a better format than most woman out there as I choose to leave his name out of it. I am sure he doesn't see it that way. Right now he seems slightly amused and immediately brought up the two gay exes; however I am not amused.

Is it wrong for me to be annoyed and frustrated that he now has an open window to all my stories and inner most thoughts and feelings. In some ways I feel like this is almost a therapeutic diary. A diary in which I can say almost anything I want because of having the anonymity that creating a pseudonym gave me. I feel now like my younger sibling stole and read my diary. The thoughts and feelings I share here aren't for him. I feel violated worse than a prison inmate who just dropped the soap. My blogs are reflective of everything going on in my life. They are my good days and my bad days. There are days when I am mad and especially at him. I am sure those blogs have a potential to read loud and clear as a big Fuck You. Today I suppose is one of those days.

Am I wrong to be frustrated and mad? I am sure he doesn't share everything with me and I wouldn't want him to. I am not sure how to react here. Is my frustration and anger justified?

Shout out to book bloggers indie authors and whoever else I F*cking want.

OK. SO no sexy stories here today folks sorry to disappoint. As many of you may have figured out from my blogs I am an avid reader and aspiring indie author. I am currently working on two books neither complete and ready to publish. I am also working on a website currently for people to be able to contract with me to write letters, whether it be business, love, threats...etc. You may not have figured here from my careless banter that I actually have a knack for business writing. As any of my former employers will tell you (Aside from the last one) I was always the first person they went to when they needed a letter. I have had many letters to the editor published on subjects I am passionate about etc etc. Basically I may not be able to form a coherent sentence here folks, but in letters I am extremely articulate. So what I am saying in my own random way is. I support the bloggers, the indie authors and even the publisher backed authors. I am going to list a few of my favorite authors on the side of my blog going forward because I am sure this business is hard. People don't become rich writing books (well most people). They do it because they love it. They do it because there is something incredibly satisfying when someone identifies with something you write. Its an absolutely amazing feeling. Especially when you yourself are so invested in the stories you tell and the characters you create.

Two authors have really surprised me lately. The first being Charlie Carillo. I read both Raising Jake, and One Hit Wonder. They both were kindle freebies. As kindle freebies go it's kind of a crap shoot. You may have some lousy author just trying to get up the bestselling list or you may have a story that nearly knocks your socks off. Charlie Carillo did that for me. I am not going to review each book individually but lets just say growing up near the NYC and understanding the family dynamics helped me immediately identify with his characters and learning to cope with dysfunctional families. His stories were well written, funny and held some life lesson, but most off all I was incredibly entertained. Now Mr. Carillo isn;t an Indie Author from what I could find on the Internet. He is the good all published kind, but even so they both kept me so incredibly entertained. Having New Yorkers for family members I couldn't laugh at all the similarities in the family dynamics.

Ok Next I know there has been hype of this book and it doesn't need my help but on a personal note I wanted to talk about it. Sh*t my dad says by Justin Halpern is great. I lost my father when I was very young but I can only imagine what he would have said as he got older. The book makes me long for my own fathers inappropriate sense of social norms and really displays a loving father son relationship. It makes me wistful for that type of relationship with my own father and sad that I never got one. Its funny and charming and so incredibly inappropriate at times it had me in tears. So I thank you Mr. Halpern (both generations). For making me laugh and cry and miss my dad like crazy. For those who say that sounds a little masochistic. I don't want to forget the man I adored as a child and I find myself forgetting more and more the older I get.

Also I just wanted to mention my favorite blogger at the moment Miss Kindle Obsessed! www.kindleobsessed.com As a fellow kindlite who is reading obsessed to the point where Mr. X feels I should join a 12 step group I have to say I appreciate and love the fact that there is someone out there who is so obsessed that she took it to the next level. To any of my fellow obsessive readers out there. Her blog is incredibly useful.

To all my indie authors who I love and forget about I am going to add a favorite author section to my blog layout so that no one feels forgotten. Also as I discover my new fellow bloggers I will also add you here too. I am starting to feel such a sense of camaraderie and support among bloggers. I love it. Its a community and its awesome..... SO love you all!!

P.S. I take requests on stories....so if you are an avid reader and saw that I mentioned something in passing please let me know you want to hear more. I often forget what I have an haven't shared yet!